Empty Nest~ One More to Go

Some say that you naturally become ready for your children to leave.  I don't think it ever was natural for me.  I have struggled each time.  When Kevin left I still had Erik, age 11. see http://lojdandelion.blogspot.com/2007/08/emptying-nest.html  It was hard but I didn't go through what I'm going through now, feeling a lack of purpose.  My job is about done.
Not everyone parents the same.  I can not say I have the corner on how it's done.  But for some, 
being a mom may seem like it's a lifelong job but for me it really hasn't been.  Under our roof we provided and tried to protect them.  One day we had to stop providing and protecting them and let them learn from their mistakes.  Wow what a scary concept!  But what if I hadn't learned from mine?  What if my mother, a widow, clung to me to feel her own purpose?  No, she let me go. She let me struggle some.  She was there for love, encouragement, prayers.  She didn't kick me out saying, don't come back.  But I didn't want to come back.  I wanted to move on.  Like the mother eagle who slowly takes the cushion from the nest so that it is no longer comfortable, but kind of pokey.  Life is hard, they have to get use to it.
We were out of milk today.  Since last night was rather quarrelsome with my younger son, I decided to run up town while it was still very early and get milk and some donuts. I'm still providing that comfort.  I still am trying to protect and impact while I can.  Because despite what he says, he is not raised yet!  Not until he can provide a roof over his own head.  And if he doesn't do that, I suppose we will have to remove the comforts.  I haven't had to do that because each of my kids were more than ready to leave the nest!
He has very slowly started implementing his independence.  He wasn't like his sister who rebelled, or his brother who withdrew.  He still communicates with us and spends time with us.  But he is argumentative.  Come to politics, education, and even spiritual issues he has his own, very strong opinion.  And he wants it to be very different from ours.  Every other opinion is better than his parents.  Yes it bothers us sometimes.  But we know he is asserting his independence.  I didn't want to be like my mom.  Funny though, Now I do!  I admire her.  I aspire to be like her.
One more to go.  Then what?  My husband says I will still have him to take care of.  I smile and know this is true!  I should look forward to the carefree days of not caring for a child?  Not I!  I love taking care of my children.  It has been my life. 
I always want to be here for them but...I have learned to listen sometimes and not give advice.  I have learned to let them struggle a little and just pray for them.  I have learned that I can't not make them believe the way I do.  But I don't stop praying and trying to share my faith because this is the most important life decision they will have, where they will spend eternity.  And Oh how I hope it is in Heaven with me someday!  I have accepted each one of them for who they are, uniquely and individually made. 
I have been blessed.  Every day I have with one of my children is a blessing and I grieve for the parents who have lost children.   I am thankful for my children's health and I grieve for the parents who have sick children. 
One thing I'm certain of is that God loves them as much as I do.  He knit them together in my womb and He cares for them!  God is a father and He also has let His children go out on their own.  He doesn't force Himself on us but he gently reminds us that He is here.  He waits for us to be in communion with Him through prayer and reading our Bibles. 
One more to go.  Of course there is going to be purpose in my life after I have raised my children.  God is not done with me yet.  I'm waiting to see what the purpose might be.  I am after all still a wife.  The world minimizes that, but that's another blog!