What I Wish People Would Know About Me ~I am nothing without Christ

"No guilt in life, no fear in death,
This is the power of Christ in me;
From life's first cry to final breath.
Jesus commands my destiny."
~ lyrics to "Christ Alone"

 

 

 

I am very moved by this song.  I think because anytime I hear about the blood of Jesus cleansing me it reminds me of why I love Him so much, why my Faith is renewed, how I've needed that cleansing blood in my life!

I wasn't always living for Christ.  I spent many years, living for myself.  I believed but I didn't want to serve.  I wanted to serve my own purposes, my own pleasures.  I often thought of my soul and if during this time I'd be lost if I died.  I believe God had a greater purpose for me even while I was serving my own purpose.  He didn't allow me to die because He had called me to live for Him at a very young age. 

I was first baptised at the young age of about 6.  I loved Sunday School, I loved the Bible, I loved Jesus.  So at a little Baptist church that I often went to by myself  (we lived across the street) I asked to be baptised and the pastor told me the significance of Baptism.  I was washing away the sinful man (which at the age of 6 I'm sure my sins were not very significant but I still had a selfish heart) and I was rising out of the water as a new child of God.  Not one that would just live for Him on Sunday, but one who would read her Bible, communicate with God through prayer and try to live a pure life that God choose for me.  Not to hinder me, but to bless me.  Not to make me a robot who mindlessly believed, followed and served out of obligation, but a true Christian who sought Him with her heart and felt His presence in the good times and the bad times.  I had a great example, of course, in my mom.  And my dad for 11 short years.  My parents were flawed, but they also were forgiven as I learned through my years I would be too. 

My faith remained strong, I thought.  Until I was going through my mid twenties.  Life was not all I expected.  I wanted excitement.  I didn't like to go to church anymore because it left me with convictions.  Convictions that were not forced upon me but that were coming from my heart (where God continued to dwell)  I tried to put out of my mind the gentle tugs from God.  I walked deeply into a lifestyle that spiraled into sin.  I made decisions that felt good at the time, they were pleasurable and I even felt justified.  I thought why shouldn't I do this, I'm an adult I've not experienced this or that, what am I missing?  I won't go into the sins I committed (I'll leave you guessing) unless you really know me then you probably were there with me watching me struggle.  This path I stayed on for 10 years. 

I went through divorce at this time and felt angry with God.  I wondered how he could take away the very thing I thought He blessed.  But He didn't take it away, we ruined it with one bad decision after another.  I still blamed God and even the church for not caring enough.  It wasn't God, it wasn't the church.  It was an evil liar who comes in the form of pleasure/temptation that made me believe God didn't love me.  Sound familiar to the serpent in the Garden of Eden? 

I met my husband now and we were two very different people. After being engaged I finally told him that I didn't want to sit at home and worry who he was with or when he'd be home from the bar with his friends.  This is not who I wanted to be married to.  I wasn't perfect of course.  But he stopped going to bars and I was happy.  We didn't live a wild lifestyle but we didn't live for any purpose than our own.  We raised our kids the best we could but they often witnessed some bad decisions. 

We often talked about what we believed about God and the Bible.  My husband had some mixed feelings because of his upbringing, which a very forced and mechanical religion played into that.  I remember sharing with him my beliefs but still felt like I couldn't live the life I once did.  I felt like I was never going to be able to restore my faith. 

We started looking for a church to try to piece together our lives and have a foundation to raise our kids on.  Once in church again, the songs stirred up feelings in me.  Especially songs like "At the Cross" or "Oh the Blood of Jesus"  So I got baptized again when my husband decided to confirm his faith.  He was really digging in.  He was studying the Bible and his faith was growing.  Mine was getting there but I sometimes felt I was just clinging to his faith instead of my own.  I was still having a hard time putting my trust in God again.  He hadn't let me down, put I still believed He had.  I believed my life should of been perfect when I was trying to be a good Christian.  And when it was less than perfect I blamed God. 

I didn't get what I so profoundly understand now.  People that truly put their trust in God withstand the trials of life and they grow through them.  God allows his children hard times so they learn and they learn to help others.  I often resented my husband because even though I called him my spiritual leader I felt he was better than me.  I had an opportunity to allow God to keep me from a painful situation but I choose to ignore Him and do what I wanted.  This is where that led if you care to read this poem I wrote. http://lojdandelion.blogspot.com/2007/07/my-spirit-struggled-i-heard-whispering.html

However today I have to say God has been working in my life and I've felt redeemed, forgiven and my faith restored beyond what it ever was.  My childlike faith has turned into a deeper faith I feel.  One that I depend on in good and bad times.  One I believe will be rewarded not in this life, but in my next.  I may still be tempted to make selfish decisions and I may mess up but I know that God is available to provide me a way out though if I just listen to Him.

 

 

 

"In Christ alone my hope is found,
He is my light, my strength, my song;
this Cornerstone, this solid Ground,
firm through the fiercest drought and storm.
What heights of love, what depths of peace,
when fears are stilled, when strivings cease!
My Comforter, my All in All,
here in the love of Christ I stand"

~lyrics from "Christ Alone" 

Messages From Beyond?

We had something interesting happen the other day. Rog, Erik and I were at dad's picking up brush piles from the fields and on the radio was the song "You are my shining star" Which I reminded Erik was the song that gma Beverly's favorite bear "Ringo" played. We had gotten her the bear at the hospital once and it had a star on it's foot so she named it Ringo. We had put it in the casket with her when she died. After we were done working in the field I checked my cell phone which was on me in a case and there was a picture of Beverly on the screen. A picture that was taken 3 years ago and mixed in with lots of other pics on my cell. Erik commented "That's Weird" and Rog simply said "Mom is saying Hi" :)
This story is similar to a story shared by my sister. "Annette was down in Arkansas when Mom passed and we couldn't get in touch with her for a while. When we did Annette was very upset that we hadn't been able to let her know mom was so bad. She was crying and when she got into the truck with her friend her cell phone started making strange flashes, then up popped a picture of mom that she had in with all her other pictures"
Also shared by my sister, Mary who lost her husband of 50 years this past June, is this story. "One morning I woke up to the smell of Old Spice, and there isn't any Old Spice in the house. The smell was all through the house for most of the day. (This has happened once more time since then) Bill loved Old Spice but when he was so sick he couldn't wear it because the smell made him sick . The kids would always buy him the expensive after shave and we would always smile at each other because Old Spice was what he liked the best and me too because it is what Dad always wore and Bill had wore when we were going together."
And again a story by Mary about my brother-in-law. "at Christian's(their grandson) BD party...Bill had always wanted to get him a Nerf machine gun and Bill would always put it in the cart and I would have to tell him we couldn't buy it for Christian because his mom didn't want him to play with guns. But this year she called and said if I wanted to get the Nerf gun to go ahead and get it, because he was begging for one. So I did and it was the best thing he ever got, or so he said. After the party I told Bill(Jr) how happy Dad would have been seeing Christian so happy with the dart gun, as I was telling Bill this, he was folding up the birthday gift bags, he felt there was something inside one and tipped it over and emptied it into his hand, I saw the look on his face and asked, "What is it?" He showed it to me. It was one of the memory rocks that they had for Bill at the funeral home. I feel this was another way God has allowed Bill to let us know his precense is with us."
I had to share these stories for those who have lost loved ones so they may know that God doesn't stop caring about our sorrow. I believe He sometimes gives us these glimpses of our loved ones, even though they are physically gone from us. Feel free to share your stories with me. I'd love to hear them.

In Memory of Mom (Beverly)

Mom passed away on Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 6:30 CST. We are unsure why she hung onto life those prior 6 days or why God didn't take her. We questioned whether there might be one more person she needed to see or hear from. Knowing her love for her mom, Eleanore we called her. Grandma told mom of her love for her. A nurse, Billie at Parkview had asked me during mom's stuggle if Roger and I ever prayed together. Even though not as often as we should, I said yes. After several days of mom struggling to thrive, I finally suggested to Roger that we pray over mom together. We closed the curtain around her bed and each said a prayer standing over her with hands laid on her. We prayed that God would end her suffering and she'd be in his loving arms. Beverly loved hugs and the day her cancer doctor told her she would not get better she clung to his arm. I picture her in heaven, clinging to Jesus. And He won't be too busy to let her cling to Him. I wanted to give a eulogy in memory of Beverly at her funeral. But because of our differences in faith, dad (Jim) did not want anyone to speak but his "brother" from the Jehovah Witness Hall. So without the music like hymns to move me, the reminensing or the promise of Heaven I was not able to express my grief as I would like. Even though the speaker did give me credit for becoming like a daughter to Beverly, not until I kissed her forehead goodbye one final time did I finally shed the tears I needed. Then at home listening to worship music by Jeremy Camp I released many tears at our sorrow of not seeing her again on this Earth. There were many people I wanted to thank at the funeral and had included this in my eulogy. So I will post it here in remembrance of a wonderful lady.

Her hugs, her laughter, her sweet smile, her determination to not allow the cancer to get her spirits down, her positive attitude kept her strong, I believe for so long.Cancer Cannot Conquer the Spirit
"Cancer is so limited.It cannot cripple love.It cannot shatter hope.It cannot corrode faith.It cannot destroy peace.Cancer cannot kill friendship.It cannot suppress memories.It cannot silence courage.It cannot invade the soul.It cannot steal eternal life.And it cannot conquer the spirit."It cannot defeat you if you trust Jesus Christ to work all things together for good in your life." -from "The Purpose Driven Life" by Rick Warren

God worked in all our lives over this last difficult year. I gained closeness with mom I never had. Roger felt freer to express his love to both his parents. As an only child Roger had an incredible place in his mother’s heart. With no siblings to share his sorrow he often turned focus to his dad and helping him.

Mom and Dad spent 41 years of marriage together. It moved me to see her and Jim holding hands or Jim laying a gentle kiss on her check or rubbing her cheek or arm with his hand.
Mom loved to spend time with Erik. He grew up sitting between grandpa and grandma in their GMC traveling many times to go eat at their favorite places or to visit their many friends. He never was able to leave her house without giving Grandma a hug!
Beverly had many friends. Many of which stuck close by her at the end…
Rosie and John of who they shared 42 years of friendship.
Others like Myra who came to visit or bring food, clean, or play cards with mom.
Family that visited, some from far away like her brother Larry and family.
Beverly’s mother, Eleanore who traveled from Massachusetts to spend some very special times with her this summer.
Her brother Sid and wife Mary who always brought a smile and laugh when they came.
I’ve never witness such an outpouring of love and kindness as I did these final days of mom’s life. The nurses and staff at Parkview Haven and Southern Care Hospice showed so much love and compassion to mom and our family.1 Corinthians 13:13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
Thank you dear friends and loved ones!


Mom we will never forget your precious smile, your loving hugs, your laughter… Til we meet again. Goodbye Mom

Love, Lorie

Couldn't have said it better, again! Megafreeway or Narrow Way? by Greg Laurie

Tuesday, November 21, 2006Megafreeway or Narrow Way?

There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death.
— Proverbs 14:12
There is a road to heaven. Jesus said, "Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it" (Matthew 7:13).Jesus was saying there is a clear way to walk in life. Certainly He was not advocating the fuzzy thinking of our time that claims that all roads lead to God, that says, "You have your truth, I have my truth, and eventually we will all end up in the same place."Some people seem to think the road to heaven is like a megafreeway where we all have our lanes, and we are all going to get there eventually. Some have a lane of religion. Others have a lane of philosophy. Others have a lane of something else. And the pervading belief about this freeway to heaven is that we can change lanes if we want to: I don't like this philosophy lane. . . . I am going to go over to the religion lane. . . . I am going to go over to this other lane. . . . That is how they envision it.But that is not the way Jesus described it. He said, "Broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it."Some say, "I will find my own way." Maybe they will. But it can be the way of death. The road Jesus offers is a narrow one. If you have not yet chosen to walk on that narrow road, take the next exit from your megafreeway. You can choose to walk with Christ. Choose life today! Greg Laurie Copyright © 2006 by Harvest Ministries. All rights reserved.

Couldn't Have Said it Better

Wednesday, August 30, 2006No Brownie Points- by Pastor Greg Laurie

For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast.


— Ephesians 2:8-9
Some years ago a poll conducted by a major news magazine found that most Americans were sure they were going to heaven, but most didn't expect to see their friends there. A majority of those polled anticipated that Mother Theresa would make the cut, and a number also cited certain celebrities and politicians whom they thought would qualify.Sadly, this shows the confusion and the flawed reasoning that go into the most important decision we will ever make in life: the decision regarding where we will spend eternity.Though this may come as a surprise to many people, Mother Theresa, as wonderful of a humanitarian as she was, did not have any better odds of making it into heaven than anyone else. Why? Because our entrance into heaven is not on the basis of what we have done for God; it is on the basis of what God has done for us. That is what it comes down to.The lowest of the low, if they repent and ask God to forgive them, in spite of what they have done, will be admitted into heaven. And the best of the best, in spite of all of the good they have done, will not necessarily get in if they have not put their faith in Christ as their Savior. It doesn't matter what we have done, as commendable as it may be. Our entrance into heaven has nothing to do with good deeds or bad deeds. But it has everything to do with what Jesus did on the cross and our recognition that we cannot meet God on our own merit.
Copyright © 2006 by Harvest Ministries. All rights reserved.
Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright ©1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Bible text from the New King James Version is not to be reproduced in copies or otherwise by any means except as permitted in writing by Thomas Nelson, Inc., Attn: Bible Rights and Permissions, P.O. Box 141000, Nashville, TN 37214-1000Have Pastor Greg's devotionals blessed you? Write to let him know! Greg@harvest.org

In Memory of Paul

"I can only imagine what it will be like when I walk by your side. I can only imagine what my eyes will see when your face is before me. Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel? Will I dance for you Jesus or in awe of you be still? Will I stand in your presence or to my knees will I fall. Will I sing Hallelujah? Will I be able to speak at all? I can only imagine... When that day comes and I find myself standing in the Son. I can only imagine when all I will do is forever, forever worship you." - Mercy Me
Paul, my brother passed away this June. When I hear the song "I Can Only Imagine" I can see Paul in the presence of Jesus, dancing and worshiping. His pain gone, a broad smile across his face. I've pondered many times why God took Him? I wondered if God took him because of the pain he was undeniably in? The pain the had wrecked thru his body since the motorcycle accident that should have taken his life. I've always believed that things happen because "gravity works" and while we are in this world we are subject to physics. However I know that God can intervene. Roger, my husband believes that God's timing is so that our souls are prepared. To spare us from an entaglement of sin or a worse situation in the future. I think those last months of Paul's life were times in which God spoke to Paul. We are so busy living this life that sometimes we don't think about eternity. Paul's life was stopped in it's tracks. Because of his accident he recognized his need for God in his life again. As he wrote in a letter to me "Lorie, Remember when I was 15 or 16 and I felt like God wanted me to be a preacher? Well anyway, I felt so good inside. I wish I could feel that way again."
My peace is from knowing that he was prepared and his pain is gone. He also feels good inside again!