Yesterday, I had a client and old classmate tell me that she'd just learned that her 16 year old son was sexually active. Of course her main concern was his girlfriend getting pregnant. She checked with the mother to see if the girl was on birth control. I may be in the minority but I do not endorse birth control as a solution. First, pregnancy is not my only concern for my kids. Thru experience I've come to see why God's word, the Bible discourages sex outside of marriage. The emotional hurt, unplanned pregnancy and disease being a few reasons. The world encourages sex outside of marriage because we don't want to say no to our desires...Thus we have more divorce, more abortions, more STDs and more single parent families. In our society it is very hard to tell ourselves no. Without love for ourselves, God and others we will engage in anything that feels good. I believe a lot of girls and women seek affection and attention though sex. I've heard physchologists say that when a girl doesn't feel loved or special to a father she will seek attention through other males. This makes her vulernable. There can be other strong male figures in her life to conteract this I believe, a loving grandfather, God: the father, a respectful boyfriend. How many girls find that respectful boyfriend? One who will not pressure her to have sex, then dump her later? As a teen girl I didn't have a father figure. My father passed away when I was 11. However, I had a strong relationship with God and a respectful boyfriend that didn't pressure me for sex.
Sex is a moment of pleasure but can be a lifetime of hurt if not in a secure relationship such as marriage. I believe in marriage. It's a committment. I believe that living together is "all the benefits without the committment." I lived with Roger and I regret that decision. I had went into rebellion to God because of my divorce. Recently I relized that when I felt God dissappointed me I rebelled. I use to serve God because I expected Him to bless me. Now I see, as Erik so plainly told me yesterday "We shouldn't do things because we expect a reward." He is so wise for his years!!! That is true in love for God, for our family and for our neighbors. "Don't pretend that you love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Stand on the side of good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honouring each other. Never be lazy in your work, but serve the Lord enthusiastically." Romans 12:9-11 "Pay all your debts, except the debt of love for others. You can never finish paying that! If you love your neighbor, you will fulfill all the requirements of God's law. For the commandments against adultery and murder and stealing and coveting-and any other commandment-are all summed up in this one commandment:"Love your neighbor as yourself." Love does no wrong to anyone, so love satisfies all of God's requirements." - Romans 13:8-10 (New Living Translation)
Roger and I settled into familiarity too soon and didn't enjoy the concept of dating each other. We also moved in together during the "oh-ah" stage and things could have went to ah-oh! But thank God they didn't. Roger wanted marriage from the beginning. I was wary because of my divorce. He asked me if I'd marry him if I felt the same way in 6 months. And 12 months later, I did!
I am open in my conversation to my kids about sex and the consequences. I believe I should be more worried about their souls than anything else. I have tried to instill Godly advice. I have tried to present them with facts. Recently I learned that at least 50% of sexually active people will contact HPV in their lifes. see- http://www.cdc.gov/std/HPV/STDFact-HPV.htm
The Human Papillomavirus is the new hot topic, showing up in magazines and on TV. There is a vaccination now to help protect our daughters from contacting this disease before they become sexually active. Even if she waits for her future husband, he could pass it to her if he's been sexually active.
You are not protected from HPV if you use condoms. It causes genital warts anywhere from the area around the genitalia, to the anus, to the inside of the uterus. HPV is one of the leading causes of cervical cancer in women. How scary is that?! I've told my son that when you have sex it is like you've had sex with all the people your partner has been with.
If you have no other reason, no moral conviction to wait for sex, at least the fear of contacting or spreading disease to your future spouse would caution us to not "Sample"
I am sick of Hollywood's infiltration of sex in the media. Like Phillip Morris who sells cigarettes but pretends to care about future smokers, MTV and other media platforms pretend to care about our kids while "Selling Sex"
"Kids who listen to music with sexually degrading lyrics have sex at an earlier age, reports a RAND Health study thats followed 1,400 kids, ages 12-17, for 3 years. The more exposure kids have to media with any sexual content, the more likely they are to start having sex themselves. this is especially true with regard to movies and music, reports a University of N. C. at Chapel Hill study of 1,000 seventh and eighth graders." -Good Housekeeping, February 2007
It's our call. We can let the world influence them or we teach and try to protect them. Sure they are not going to listen to everything we say but it is suprising what sticks. And when you've done everything you can to influence them know that you aren't responsible for their choices only for your influence!
Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Sunday, March 05, 2006
Results From "Survey of the Opinionated"
I sent out "a survey for the opinionated" recently via e-mail. Thanks to a few of my friends and family I got some interesting answers to some controversial subjects. I want to compile those answers, trying to vary them. I don't necessarily agree or disagree but I found the diverse answers interesting. There were a few opinions that weren't elaborated on, probably cause they are touchy subjects, (eg. Being born gay and pro-choice). Following you will find some of the answers I received. *I will interject new opinions if I receive them. Or you may post a comment at the end. Thanks.
1. Would you consider yourself, Conservative or Liberal?
5 conservative and 2 liberal. 1 very conservative and only one who elaborated:
"Politics is not my thing, it is so messed up" -Nick
2. Do you believe in Creation or Evolution?
6 for creation, 1 for evolution and 2 who elaborated :
"Creation and micro "evolution." That means that I believe living beings can adapt over time based on changes to their environment. For example, people who work in freezers, like meat packers, develop an extra layer of fat under the skin of their hands which provides protection from constant exposure to cold. There are lots of other examples of small biological changes that occurs when our body becomes stressed and needs to change. I do not believe in macro "evolution: which is the jump of one species to another... One time I saw a picture in National Geographic of a gorilla wading in a stream. He was standing straight and up to his chest in water and I thought, "Woa, he really does look a lot like a man." Then I asked myself why God would create such a creature that had so many similarities to a human being? My theory is that God created all animals and brought them to Adam to show him,"Look, none of these animals, however similar, are a suitable companion for you because you are unique. They many look a little like you or act a little like you but they are not like you. Only the companion that I create will be the perfect match for you." I think God wanted Adam to realize that he was set apart in a special place in God's creation.- Pam
"I believe that all was created but some animals have evolved from their original form."-Christie 3. Do you believe in Censorship?
Here it appears that people are mixed.
2 No, 4 yes, 3 yes and no
Some elaborated:
"I believe in freedom of speech although when it comes to TV and such I think you need some conservative censorship to protect our youths from language, sex, etc."-Roger
"For adults not really, as for children somethings are not meant for them to hear or see."-Christie
"No... Censorship is a dangerous road because who determines what needs to be censored...You have to take the good with the bad and learn to discern truth from untruth."-Pam
4. Do you believe in Capital punishment?
4 yes, 2 no and 3 not sure
"No...My daughter asked me once if all the soldiers were going to go to hell for killing people. How do you say you can't kill people and then say, well only in these circumstances."-Pam
"Yes, if you kill (premeditated) you should die. God laid down guidelines for this back with the Israelites."-Roger *He also believes there is a difference in killing (as in war) and murder (as in premeditated)
5. The war in Iraq, good or bad?
3 good, 3 bad and 3 both
"All war is bad!! Not just Iraq...But I also believe in defending our country...Strongly..But we have war on the streets of America... Drug wars, political war, racist war, Christian war, etc. etc,... But, I love America and we need to do something to straighten out our country...What?? I wish I knew where to start."- Traci's aunt"Good!! Better on their soil than ours. I believe they left us no choice."- Christie
"Very good-Democracy in the region will stabilize it over time."-Tom
6. Love Dogs or Cats? This was to be a light hearted question in the mix of complicated ones!
I thought this would be a gender thing. But wasn't really.
6 love both, 1 prefers cats and 1 dogs, and 1 "No, just like them."-Tom
*"Dogs, Cats are evil."-Jess (she's allergic to cats!)
7. Life after death? Does heaven and hell exist?
This certainly wasn't a cut and dry answer.
Only 3 people believe in hell but most believe in an after life."Yes, I believe in life after death. I believe Hell does not exist but I do believe our spirits go somewhere, a type of Heaven maybe until we are ready for our next life."-Nikki"I believe the Bible. "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies: and whoever lives and believes in me will never die." John 11:25-26 Hell? Matthew 10:28"-Myself8. Who is God?
Most expressed belief in God as the creator. Others also said:"I believe there is more than one & they are Male & Female."-Nikki"...Mostly I think, for me, he's the still small voice that is constant and ever present that defines my life for me and brings stillness and peace."-Pam
"The Father, the Son, the Holy spirit, the creator and Jesus Christ my Lord and Savior."-Roger
9. Spanking our own children?
5 believe in spanking (not beating) 4 against spanking
"(Spanking not beating) only in extreme cases when nothing else will get a child's attention and they are headed for serious trouble."-Tom
"I think spanking confuses children. This is from my experience as a child and from what I've heard/seen from my own children. Discipline is good. I believe in consistency in discipline and finding each child's form of currency. "-Myself10. Teachers spanking our children?
3 yes, 4 no and 2 agree to the following:
"I think that since the discipline has been taken away from the teachers that the kids are more out of control and not as respectful.. I know that when I was in school and a teacher threatened to take you out in the hall for a smack, the class straighten right up though. I would be worried about whether the teacher and I would not see "eye to eye' on whether what the child did warranted a spanking.'-Traci
11. Are you a racist?
4 said no, others felt they were somewhat racist
"We all are to some degree, but that's no excuse to let it rule you."-Roger
"Only toward people who want special attention because of their race."-Christie
12. Pro-life, Pro-choice?
8 pro-life, 1 pro-choice
"Pro-life, yet again another tough one there can be so many variables here."-Nick
"Pro-life and pro-forgiveness, I am strongly opposed to abortion, but every woman who has made this choice and regretted it deserves forgiveness. "-Myself
*"Pro-life, it's not a choice that should be made by anyone other than God."-Jess
13. Sex-education at home, at school?
7 for both home and school, 2 for at home
"At home, but the reality is that sex is everywhere. Kids are going to be exposed."-Pam
"Sex ed class in high school I think would be OK but parents should start talking to their kids as soon as they know what sex is."-Traci
14. Dr. Phil, Love him, hate him, don't care?
I included this question 'cause I've come across some people that dislike him quite a bit.
4 liked him 1 hated him, 2 don't care and 2 never watched him
"He's okay when I agree with him."-Roger
"Like him most of the time although I do think that he is pretty full of himself most of the time. He does do a lot of good things for many people though."-Traci
15. Passing out condoms to teens?
2 said yes, 3 said no, 2 said this is up to parents, 1 unsure, 1 said don't care
"They started passing out condoms at school and the teen birth rate went up along with sexually transmitted disease. Passing out condoms is telling them, GO AHEAD...Parents are responsible for takin care of this...NOT the schools.."-Traci's aunt
"I'm for it, teens are going to have sex either way! This way they are less likely to spread disease and have unwanted pregnancies."-Christie
16. Prayer in School?
4 said yes, 2 said no, 3 said on a voluntary basis
"I believe that we should not take God out of the schools. This is America and if the ones that don't like it, they need to go back where they came from."-Traci
"I think prayer in school should be allowed on an optional basis. If my child went to school in another country and was forced to say prayer to an idol, I'd be disturbed. I can understand a non-believing parent feeling like that about Christian prayers. I don't think Christianity should be forced or hindered. It always has to be a free choice. That's the way God planned it."-Pam
17. Marriage between same sex?
2 yes, 7 no
"Marriage sure, if both people are in love, why not? But I don't think it is right for them to raise kids."-Christie
18. Born gay, become gay?
2 born gay, 7 become gay
"Gay is a personal choice."-Tom
"Are we born with a sexual preference? I would say no because our sexual desires don't come into play til we are adolescents. However many gay ppl would say it is not a choice. It would seem like we have no choice in who we love, so ppl who commit adultery could also say that it was not their choice, they just fell in love. So it's a sin issue and has to be dealt with between the person and God. Like all sins, forgiveness and deliverance is available to those who ask. 1 John 1:9"
19. Union, non-union?
3 union, 1 non-union, 2 neither, 1 both, and 2 unsure
"Non-union has done well for both my husband and my father."-Christie
"Both can be evil."-Nick
"Management will never change, always trying to get the most for the least. Unions will never be effective for the same reason. A person must make their capabilities valuable."-Tom
20. Absolute Truth, relativism?
4 for absolute truth, 4 for relativism, 1 other
"God's word is absolute truth. Nothing in this world (other than God's rules of nature) is black and white just various shades of gray."-Tom
"Absolute truth but who decides the truth? You or God?"-Roger
That concludes my survey. This was really time consuming! But I enjoyed it. I wonder, has anyone's opinion changed by hearing others? I know I was quite impressed upon by some answers. Thanks.
How about Gun control? Something to think about...
1. Would you consider yourself, Conservative or Liberal?
5 conservative and 2 liberal. 1 very conservative and only one who elaborated:
"Politics is not my thing, it is so messed up" -Nick
2. Do you believe in Creation or Evolution?
6 for creation, 1 for evolution and 2 who elaborated :
"Creation and micro "evolution." That means that I believe living beings can adapt over time based on changes to their environment. For example, people who work in freezers, like meat packers, develop an extra layer of fat under the skin of their hands which provides protection from constant exposure to cold. There are lots of other examples of small biological changes that occurs when our body becomes stressed and needs to change. I do not believe in macro "evolution: which is the jump of one species to another... One time I saw a picture in National Geographic of a gorilla wading in a stream. He was standing straight and up to his chest in water and I thought, "Woa, he really does look a lot like a man." Then I asked myself why God would create such a creature that had so many similarities to a human being? My theory is that God created all animals and brought them to Adam to show him,"Look, none of these animals, however similar, are a suitable companion for you because you are unique. They many look a little like you or act a little like you but they are not like you. Only the companion that I create will be the perfect match for you." I think God wanted Adam to realize that he was set apart in a special place in God's creation.- Pam
"I believe that all was created but some animals have evolved from their original form."-Christie 3. Do you believe in Censorship?
Here it appears that people are mixed.
2 No, 4 yes, 3 yes and no
Some elaborated:
"I believe in freedom of speech although when it comes to TV and such I think you need some conservative censorship to protect our youths from language, sex, etc."-Roger
"For adults not really, as for children somethings are not meant for them to hear or see."-Christie
"No... Censorship is a dangerous road because who determines what needs to be censored...You have to take the good with the bad and learn to discern truth from untruth."-Pam
4. Do you believe in Capital punishment?
4 yes, 2 no and 3 not sure
"No...My daughter asked me once if all the soldiers were going to go to hell for killing people. How do you say you can't kill people and then say, well only in these circumstances."-Pam
"Yes, if you kill (premeditated) you should die. God laid down guidelines for this back with the Israelites."-Roger *He also believes there is a difference in killing (as in war) and murder (as in premeditated)
5. The war in Iraq, good or bad?
3 good, 3 bad and 3 both
"All war is bad!! Not just Iraq...But I also believe in defending our country...Strongly..But we have war on the streets of America... Drug wars, political war, racist war, Christian war, etc. etc,... But, I love America and we need to do something to straighten out our country...What?? I wish I knew where to start."- Traci's aunt"Good!! Better on their soil than ours. I believe they left us no choice."- Christie
"Very good-Democracy in the region will stabilize it over time."-Tom
6. Love Dogs or Cats? This was to be a light hearted question in the mix of complicated ones!
I thought this would be a gender thing. But wasn't really.
6 love both, 1 prefers cats and 1 dogs, and 1 "No, just like them."-Tom
*"Dogs, Cats are evil."-Jess (she's allergic to cats!)
7. Life after death? Does heaven and hell exist?
This certainly wasn't a cut and dry answer.
Only 3 people believe in hell but most believe in an after life."Yes, I believe in life after death. I believe Hell does not exist but I do believe our spirits go somewhere, a type of Heaven maybe until we are ready for our next life."-Nikki"I believe the Bible. "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies: and whoever lives and believes in me will never die." John 11:25-26 Hell? Matthew 10:28"-Myself8. Who is God?
Most expressed belief in God as the creator. Others also said:"I believe there is more than one & they are Male & Female."-Nikki"...Mostly I think, for me, he's the still small voice that is constant and ever present that defines my life for me and brings stillness and peace."-Pam
"The Father, the Son, the Holy spirit, the creator and Jesus Christ my Lord and Savior."-Roger
9. Spanking our own children?
5 believe in spanking (not beating) 4 against spanking
"(Spanking not beating) only in extreme cases when nothing else will get a child's attention and they are headed for serious trouble."-Tom
"I think spanking confuses children. This is from my experience as a child and from what I've heard/seen from my own children. Discipline is good. I believe in consistency in discipline and finding each child's form of currency. "-Myself10. Teachers spanking our children?
3 yes, 4 no and 2 agree to the following:
"I think that since the discipline has been taken away from the teachers that the kids are more out of control and not as respectful.. I know that when I was in school and a teacher threatened to take you out in the hall for a smack, the class straighten right up though. I would be worried about whether the teacher and I would not see "eye to eye' on whether what the child did warranted a spanking.'-Traci
11. Are you a racist?
4 said no, others felt they were somewhat racist
"We all are to some degree, but that's no excuse to let it rule you."-Roger
"Only toward people who want special attention because of their race."-Christie
12. Pro-life, Pro-choice?
8 pro-life, 1 pro-choice
"Pro-life, yet again another tough one there can be so many variables here."-Nick
"Pro-life and pro-forgiveness, I am strongly opposed to abortion, but every woman who has made this choice and regretted it deserves forgiveness. "-Myself
*"Pro-life, it's not a choice that should be made by anyone other than God."-Jess
13. Sex-education at home, at school?
7 for both home and school, 2 for at home
"At home, but the reality is that sex is everywhere. Kids are going to be exposed."-Pam
"Sex ed class in high school I think would be OK but parents should start talking to their kids as soon as they know what sex is."-Traci
14. Dr. Phil, Love him, hate him, don't care?
I included this question 'cause I've come across some people that dislike him quite a bit.
4 liked him 1 hated him, 2 don't care and 2 never watched him
"He's okay when I agree with him."-Roger
"Like him most of the time although I do think that he is pretty full of himself most of the time. He does do a lot of good things for many people though."-Traci
15. Passing out condoms to teens?
2 said yes, 3 said no, 2 said this is up to parents, 1 unsure, 1 said don't care
"They started passing out condoms at school and the teen birth rate went up along with sexually transmitted disease. Passing out condoms is telling them, GO AHEAD...Parents are responsible for takin care of this...NOT the schools.."-Traci's aunt
"I'm for it, teens are going to have sex either way! This way they are less likely to spread disease and have unwanted pregnancies."-Christie
16. Prayer in School?
4 said yes, 2 said no, 3 said on a voluntary basis
"I believe that we should not take God out of the schools. This is America and if the ones that don't like it, they need to go back where they came from."-Traci
"I think prayer in school should be allowed on an optional basis. If my child went to school in another country and was forced to say prayer to an idol, I'd be disturbed. I can understand a non-believing parent feeling like that about Christian prayers. I don't think Christianity should be forced or hindered. It always has to be a free choice. That's the way God planned it."-Pam
17. Marriage between same sex?
2 yes, 7 no
"Marriage sure, if both people are in love, why not? But I don't think it is right for them to raise kids."-Christie
18. Born gay, become gay?
2 born gay, 7 become gay
"Gay is a personal choice."-Tom
"Are we born with a sexual preference? I would say no because our sexual desires don't come into play til we are adolescents. However many gay ppl would say it is not a choice. It would seem like we have no choice in who we love, so ppl who commit adultery could also say that it was not their choice, they just fell in love. So it's a sin issue and has to be dealt with between the person and God. Like all sins, forgiveness and deliverance is available to those who ask. 1 John 1:9"
19. Union, non-union?
3 union, 1 non-union, 2 neither, 1 both, and 2 unsure
"Non-union has done well for both my husband and my father."-Christie
"Both can be evil."-Nick
"Management will never change, always trying to get the most for the least. Unions will never be effective for the same reason. A person must make their capabilities valuable."-Tom
20. Absolute Truth, relativism?
4 for absolute truth, 4 for relativism, 1 other
"God's word is absolute truth. Nothing in this world (other than God's rules of nature) is black and white just various shades of gray."-Tom
"Absolute truth but who decides the truth? You or God?"-Roger
That concludes my survey. This was really time consuming! But I enjoyed it. I wonder, has anyone's opinion changed by hearing others? I know I was quite impressed upon by some answers. Thanks.
How about Gun control? Something to think about...
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
Closed Mindedness? / Naiveness?
I am so tired of the liberal propaganda that forces their opinions thru the media. I'm suppose to repress my opinions on religion and morality because of offending someone. I'm not suppose to oppose abortion, pornography or homosexuality because then I am closed minded. My children are exposed to vulgarity in books, movies, music and magazines in order to protect freedom of speech? Who really is closed minded? Isn't it anyone who doesn't want to hear anything that opposes their beliefs. What about those who don't want prayer in school? What about those who don't want God in the pledge of allegiance? Are they closed minded too?
I am naïve if I expect my kids to not drink, not have sex. Is it not naive to expect our kids to use a condom every time they have sex or to call a parent if they have drank too much? I am bewildered at the parents that are afraid to forbid underage drinking. Are we afraid to forbid drugs? Yet booze can be equally as dangerous and addicting. We can't control our teens but we can guide them. It's like taking several coins and lining them up. If you just push them forward they will all go astrew. If you gently bump and nudge them you can help keep them in a straight line. I want my kids' life to go as smoothly as possible. Some kids will go astrew anyway and they will find their own way eventually. Some will even remain unharmed. I feel my job is to protect them while I can.
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