Standing for Something "Greater" in this life

"By the grace of God I am what I am." 1 Corinthians 15:10

Yesterday evening a beloved man, Clifford, from our church passed away. He and his wife were the greeters at our church. He met everyone with a smile and a hug. He wore fun and interesting ties, sometimes he work a pink dress shirt. If you told him "God Bless you" he would reply "He already has" He loved God and had a geniune walk with Jesus. (See quote by Clifford in my blog "You gotta have heart") I was listening to a "Country Gospel" CD in memory of Clifford this morning. He loved hymns and recently sang "Nothing but the blood of Jesus" in church. I remember growing up hearing so many of the old hymns. I know many of them by heart. I sang some with my mom in church as a child. If you've been raised in church or if you've had parents or grandparents who sang these old hymns you've probably been touched by one. This morning I was moved to tears by the hymn "Just a Closer Walk with Thee"

I am weak, but Thou art strong;Jesus, keep me from all wrong;I'll be satisfied as long as I walk, let me walk close to Thee.
Just a closer walk with Thee,Precious Jesus, hear my plea,Daily walking close to Thee,Let it be, dear Lord, let it be.
Through this world of toil and snares,If I falter, Lord, who cares?Who with me my burden shares?None but Thee, dear Lord, none but Thee.
Just a closer walk with Thee,Precious Jesus, hear my plea,Daily walking close to Thee,Let it be, dear Lord, let it be.
When my feeble life is o'er,Time for me will be no more;Guide me gently, safely o'erTo Thy kingdom shore, to Thy shore.
Just a closer walk with Thee,Precious Jesus, hear my plea,Daily walking close to Thee,Let it be, dear Lord, let it be."

I think that the older generation of christians are such an inspiration to me. Many of them have went through so much in their lifetimes. It has taken me many years to realize that the only way to keep your faith strong is to not falter in reading the Bible, praying and worshiping God. I've tried to live life on the fence. I've tried to have some of God and some of the world. But God never gave up on me. He still tugged at my heart. He draws me back time and time again.

My number one goal in life is to live my life as I've seen my dear friend Bonnie (who passed away December) and my christian brother Clifford. They have fought the fight, they have won the race. Hebrews 12:1"Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,
2Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God." KJV

I'd rather stand for something, than nothing at all.

Putting Our Backs to the Past

"We must remember that we're each in process. We each have the messy, the mundane, and the delightful in our lives to a greater or lesser degree at one time or another. The most destructive thing we can do is envy others their triunph, rejoice in their messiness, or become discouraged by our own in relation to others'."- Sarah Zacharias Davis from "Confessions from an Honest Wife"

I read this and it seemed relavent to what I just wrote in The Day to Day to Day to Day STUFF.

Today in church Pastor Jim (a visiting pastor) talked about "Embracing the journey to fulfill your destiny" and "Moving foward living with our backs to the past." I've known people that say they have no regrets in life. Usually they say this because every decision we make, makes us who we are. I do regret decisions I've made. But I hope I've also learned from them. I know somethings that seemed so hard at the time have changed my life is such a remarkable way. I've asked God many times "Why?" Sometimes we never see the reason. Sometimes we just see that God will open another door. The world teaches us not to forgive. It teaches us to not get mad to get even. Sometimes we let our old hurts keep us from moving forward. As a demostration the congregations all got balloons and blew them up. Thinking of someone that had hurt us, a parent, a friend, a sibling, etc...Then we all let go of the balloon and let the hurt go. It was neat seeing all the balloons fluttering around releasing air, releasing peoples hurts. Most people have hurts. As Pastor Jim said some people may not even know they've hurt you. I can think of many instances where I've had to let things go. Sometimes it's taken years. It is hard, but we are freer if we can live with our backs to the past.

The Day to Day to Day to Day STUFF

I use to keep a journal where I only wrote when I was angry, hurt or discouraged. My online journal has mostly been positive stuff. But I do have my bad days. It is damp, dreary and late-February. I long to get away someplace warm. I thought it'd be fun to someday take off to the ocean spontaneously and sit on a deck overlooking the ocean, read and relax. Somewhere that I could be catered to. Someone would make my bed, fix my breakfast, lunch and dinner and then clean up after me. That's a vacation and as things stand now I can't anticipate one of those soon. It's disheartening, even though I know life could be so much worse. Not having a vacation is not a big problem. But I think it is natural to feel a little "fed up with life"time to time. You get tired of your job, you feel taken for granted, you are sick to death of cooking, cleaning, laundry, dishes,etc...It's the everyday things that we struggle through that sometimes bare down on us and put us in a funk. Roger often complains that management at work doesn't appreciate him. He gets discouraged. In my situation no one is asking me to do more work. At home I don't have a time clock. I don't have a paycheck. I don't get overtime. I do have an internal meter that judges my worth by how clean my house is, how well my family is taken care of, how much money I contribute to expenses, how healthy we eat, how adjusted my family is, how much my family recognizes my hard work. I'm not feeling recognized. I cleaned the kitchen all morning last Thursday. I cleaned the refrigerator top to bottom, I cleaned the oven. I wiped down all the counters, baseboards, cabinets, appliances and bottom half of the walls. Someone noticed a cob-web on the ceiling!!! Housework is truly a thankless job. No one notices what has been done only when "their jeans haven't been washed!" I will clean the floors to only find track marks the next day, even when we are all careful not to track in. I am constantly bombarded with dishes piling around the sink, laundry to be done. Then, who in their right mind wants to grocery shop on a sloppy, messy, damp, cold day like today!! For days I've planned my menu items for next week. Let's see we are out of sugar, PB (because the Peter Pan was contaminated!) We need mushroom soup for chicken casserole. I need french fries to go with the chicken patties that the boys can eat when I take Jess shopping for her birthday Sunday. I'd love to have someone else plan and fix my meals! And I'm sick to death of being on a freakin' budget! I'd love to go for a pedicure, buy some clothes (even at a resale store!) I didn't get paid last week for missing work on a snow day, so I got behind. That's nothing new, I'm always behind. I think most people can relate to some of these things. Sometimes we compare our lives to others. If only I had so and so's money I could do this and this. If only I was retired. If only I worked for myself. If only I was union. If only I had a housekeeper like so and so. If only I could take vacations in the winter. If only I just worked 9-5. If only I could stay at home. Okay, Okay I've got to have my pity party. Now to insert what I wrote just last month*
*My word is Faith
{I am in a funk. It is January, my boss is in the Caribbean and I am blue. I don’t have any real crisis in my life. I just am tired of day to day. I read a devotion this week about not concentrating on the negative. I copied the thought of the day on my kitchen blackboard, “Change negative attitude to positive by trusting God for the future”-Bible seeds devotion. Then Sunday in church, Linda talked about envisioning a snowball rolling down a hill with fresh snow, building and growing. Now envision a snowball rolling down a hill with dirty, sandy snow, growing and building with gravel and dirt in it. When we let the negative in our lives it is like that dirty snowball effect. She said that God put it on her heart to allow more positive influence in her life, through worship music, reading the Bible, etc. Then another friend of ours, Ed told Rog that his word for the year was Faith. I thought I’ll try that. I’ll have faith that all things will work out. Yet I’ve found myself worrying over and over about the same things. I worry about how Kevin will afford college; will he get grants, scholarships? Will he have too much debt? I felt that God was telling me that he’d take care of it. I also had other worries. So there is an ugly snowball effect of negativity. I don’t like feeling this way. I do know there is an up side to all this. Kevin can go to college. God is taking care of all my family and has a plan. We are able to pay our bills; we have the things we need. My kids have had the truth instilled in them. I know that Rog is eating a little better. I may not be in the Caribbean but I am where God wants me and He will see me through.} " Faith is a lot like a muscle. The more you use it, the stronger you grow."-Greg Laurie
So I did better for awhile. Then I got in my funk again. Isn't that the way life is? "I get up but I get kicked back down again" Well, life could be worse. I did a couple's hair 2 weeks ago. They are housebound. She has MS, was paralyzed from a surgery, he can't work because he has a bad heart and carpal tunnel syndrome. She needs him 24-7 'cause she is afraid to be left alone. They only get out for doctor appts. She'd probably love to be able to shop for herself again. I was dreading shopping that day, it was sub-zero. Monday we visited Jess and Kev's great-grandma. She lives by herself. She has a lot of family but is still alone most of the time. She told me "to enjoy my rides with Roger" (he was going to drive with me to Plymouth to take Jess and Camdyn home). She said that she misses her drives with her husband who has been deceased 19 years. They use to ride together to get farm machinery parts. I am thankful for my family, my home, etc.
Again as Clifford said "God works on the heart to change the mind (Change negative to positive) Satan works on the mind to change the heart.(Giving us a bad attitude) Everyday we battle the mind. Psalms 42:11 "Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God." I need a change of heart.
PS I am still glad that I don't have to get up at 5am, drive for an hour to work and then work for 8 hours at Worthington, then drive home and hour! You have it harder, Rog!
PSS If you need some cuteness in your life, add a smile by looking at a new site I found http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/

You gotta have Heart!

The heart is descibed in Merriam-Webster's Online Dictionary as "one's innermost character, feelings, or inclinations "
Proverbs 4:23" Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life."
"God works on the heart to change the mind. Satan works on the mind to change the heart." -C.C. This quote is from an elder man in our church who is quite ill. He and his wife have been greeters at our church. They also have ministered at nursing homes. They display the "heart of God" I hope to someday have this as my legacy too. God Bless you Clifford and Lois!

Go Colts!

Tom Brady, after living a full life, died. When he got to heaven, God showed him around. They came to a modest little house with a faded Patriots flag in the window. "This house is yours for eternity, Tom," God said. "This is very special; not everyone gets a house up here." Brady felt special, indeed, and walked up to his house. On his way up the sidewalk, he noticed another house just around the corner. It was a 3-story mansion with a blue and white sidewalk and a 50-foot-tall flagpole with an enormous Colts logo flag. A Colts towel hung in every window. Brady looked at God and said, "God, I'm not trying to be ungrateful, but I have a question. I was an all-pro QB, I hold many NFL records, won the Super Bowl three times and I even went to the Hall of Fame." "So what's your point, Tom?" God asked. "Well," Brady said, "why does Peyton Manning get a better house than me?" God chuckled. "Tom, that's not Peyton's house," he said. "It's mine." - unknown author

Teaching our Kids!

Yesterday, I had a client and old classmate tell me that she'd just learned that her 16 year old son was sexually active. Of course her main concern was his girlfriend getting pregnant. She checked with the mother to see if the girl was on birth control. I may be in the minority but I do not endorse birth control as a solution. First, pregnancy is not my only concern for my kids. Thru experience I've come to see why God's word, the Bible discourages sex outside of marriage. The emotional hurt, unplanned pregnancy and disease being a few reasons. The world encourages sex outside of marriage because we don't want to say no to our desires...Thus we have more divorce, more abortions, more STDs and more single parent families. In our society it is very hard to tell ourselves no. Without love for ourselves, God and others we will engage in anything that feels good. I believe a lot of girls and women seek affection and attention though sex. I've heard physchologists say that when a girl doesn't feel loved or special to a father she will seek attention through other males. This makes her vulernable. There can be other strong male figures in her life to conteract this I believe, a loving grandfather, God: the father, a respectful boyfriend. How many girls find that respectful boyfriend? One who will not pressure her to have sex, then dump her later? As a teen girl I didn't have a father figure. My father passed away when I was 11. However, I had a strong relationship with God and a respectful boyfriend that didn't pressure me for sex.
Sex is a moment of pleasure but can be a lifetime of hurt if not in a secure relationship such as marriage. I believe in marriage. It's a committment. I believe that living together is "all the benefits without the committment." I lived with Roger and I regret that decision. I had went into rebellion to God because of my divorce. Recently I relized that when I felt God dissappointed me I rebelled. I use to serve God because I expected Him to bless me. Now I see, as Erik so plainly told me yesterday "We shouldn't do things because we expect a reward." He is so wise for his years!!! That is true in love for God, for our family and for our neighbors. "Don't pretend that you love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Stand on the side of good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honouring each other. Never be lazy in your work, but serve the Lord enthusiastically." Romans 12:9-11 "Pay all your debts, except the debt of love for others. You can never finish paying that! If you love your neighbor, you will fulfill all the requirements of God's law. For the commandments against adultery and murder and stealing and coveting-and any other commandment-are all summed up in this one commandment:"Love your neighbor as yourself." Love does no wrong to anyone, so love satisfies all of God's requirements." - Romans 13:8-10 (New Living Translation)
Roger and I settled into familiarity too soon and didn't enjoy the concept of dating each other. We also moved in together during the "oh-ah" stage and things could have went to ah-oh! But thank God they didn't. Roger wanted marriage from the beginning. I was wary because of my divorce. He asked me if I'd marry him if I felt the same way in 6 months. And 12 months later, I did!
I am open in my conversation to my kids about sex and the consequences. I believe I should be more worried about their souls than anything else. I have tried to instill Godly advice. I have tried to present them with facts. Recently I learned that at least 50% of sexually active people will contact HPV in their lifes. see- http://www.cdc.gov/std/HPV/STDFact-HPV.htm
The Human Papillomavirus is the new hot topic, showing up in magazines and on TV. There is a vaccination now to help protect our daughters from contacting this disease before they become sexually active. Even if she waits for her future husband, he could pass it to her if he's been sexually active.
You are not protected from HPV if you use condoms. It causes genital warts anywhere from the area around the genitalia, to the anus, to the inside of the uterus. HPV is one of the leading causes of cervical cancer in women. How scary is that?! I've told my son that when you have sex it is like you've had sex with all the people your partner has been with.
If you have no other reason, no moral conviction to wait for sex, at least the fear of contacting or spreading disease to your future spouse would caution us to not "Sample"
I am sick of Hollywood's infiltration of sex in the media. Like Phillip Morris who sells cigarettes but pretends to care about future smokers, MTV and other media platforms pretend to care about our kids while "Selling Sex"
"Kids who listen to music with sexually degrading lyrics have sex at an earlier age, reports a RAND Health study thats followed 1,400 kids, ages 12-17, for 3 years. The more exposure kids have to media with any sexual content, the more likely they are to start having sex themselves. this is especially true with regard to movies and music, reports a University of N. C. at Chapel Hill study of 1,000 seventh and eighth graders." -Good Housekeeping, February 2007
It's our call. We can let the world influence them or we teach and try to protect them. Sure they are not going to listen to everything we say but it is suprising what sticks. And when you've done everything you can to influence them know that you aren't responsible for their choices only for your influence!

Sanctity of Human Life Sunday 2007

-Sanctity of Human Life Sunday 2007 bulletin insert by Indiana Right to Life -www.protectinglife.com

-"The Rescuing Hug" These twins were born prematurely and placed in seperate incubators. One sibling was struggling to survive. A nurse decided to move them together and the stronger sibling placed her arm around her sister and her heart rate and tempture improved. They are now in kindergarden.

"You created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." -Psalm 139: 13-16

I've been researching facts on abortion and it is scary. 43% of American women will have had at least one abortion by the age of 45.
Of the reported legal abortions according to the Center for Disease control and Prevention (CDC) Abortion surveillance Report, Jan. 7, 2000 in 1972 there were 586,760 abortions and 25 years later in 1997 there were 1,184,758. Nearly twice as many!!!
15,000 abortions each year are attributed to rape and incest. This represents only about 1% of abortions!
In a 1990 Canadian study of 22,000 women who received prenatal diagnosis, 88% who found they were carrying a child with Down Syndrome aborted the unborn child. Other studies have put the rate of Down Syndrome abortions at about 90%
"The fertilization of an egg can occur as early as 15 minutes after intercource. This egg contains 46 human chromosomes. These chromosomes are a complex genetic design for every detail of the prenatal human development. This genetic design includes hair, sex, eye color, skin tone and height."
-Focus on the Family website http://www.heartlink.org/beavoice/
When looking at the Sanctity of Human Life bulletin I noticed the face of the boy with Down Syndrome. I have had the priveledge of meeting and cutting the hair of a Down Syndrome boy. He is so incredibly happy! I've also read much on the internet of parents or siblings with Down's syndrome children, their many obsticles and their many triumphs! It is obvious that those parents, siblings, etc. have been blessed.
Today our community is gathering together at St Thomas Aquinas Church in Knox at the Monument for The Unborn. There they will mourn the lost of an unborn child, either from a misscarriage or an abortion. I've lost a grandchild to a misscarriage and I often wonder what he/she might have been like. I believe I will see her/him in heaven someday. Many of us have known someone who has had an abortion. It is for many a choice that is regretted. But God Forgives...God Heals...and God Restores. I do not pretend to know what it is like to go through this but there are excelent resources for post-abortion trauma at http://www.heartlink.org/beavoice/ "It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness." -Lamentations 3: 22,23 "I have blotted out, as a thick cloud, thy transgressions, and, as a cloud, thy sins: return unto me; for I have redeemed thee." -Isaiah 44:22
I have a strong opposition to abortion. It is not a way to fix a mistake. God has not given us that right. I know many people hide their mistakes even encourage their children to hide their mistakes this way. Then there are the brave people that give life to these mistakes and they don't feel like mistakes anymore! A child is never a mistake. "How could we put a price on even one helpless little baby in it's mother's womb? Each one is worth more than the possessions of the entire world." -Dr. James C. Dobson
This is not a political issue for me. I am aware of the arguements for abortion. I just don't agree that life and is in our hands.
Are we playing God with stem cell research? What do you think? Post a comment.

Nursing Home Blues

Mom and Doris at the Francesville Parade!
Just last week, Erik and I went to a Christmas Dinner at the nursing home where mom lives. It was very nice. There was a meal including many pies. The Monon middle school "Ambassadors" performed a spectacular musical, with bright costumes, singing, dancing and clogging. The church volunteers provided along with the meal, a present for each resident. Mom, Erik and I enjoyed ourselves, even though there were awkward moments like when mom asked the resident across from us, if his wife was his mother, TWICE! But it was good to see mom smile and appreciate the attention. However, sitting with us was Doris, mom's roommate. She didn't have a family member there and was rather depressed. Doris who is usually happy and excited to be involved, refused to eat and went back to her room. This is one of many times I've seen her disappointed that her family wasn't there. I'm not sure why they didn't come? At Thanksgiving she was sitting at a table eating Thanksgiving dinner alone because her tablemates had all gone home with their families. All I know is it is breaking my heart. When I can't attend a function, I try to find another family member to go and Debbie has went too. I wish other family members could have this opportunity sometimes too. Mom doesn't remember what day it is but I don't want to leave her sitting alone on special occasions. Those occasions don't come often. I have been selfish in the past, because it has been hard on me to go get her. It was sometimes an inconvenience, she wanted to rush back home, or she got tired and confused. But after seeing Doris so lonely for her family I don't want to let mom sit up there alone. I know she'll have her bad days...We all do. But a holiday shouldn't be one of them. It is an opportunity for us to make memories with her. We won't have many of those left, whether she lives 1 or 20 years longer. I know I won't want to spend my birthday, Christmas, etc. without my family ever. I pray I don't have to. I have a friend that says that he will never put his parents in a nursing home. I understand his feelings. But I also know that for my mom it was a good thing. I spent many nights praying about it and she is happy there for the most part, of which I am happy and relieved. I can have my own life and not worry that she is taken care of. Mom is lucky to have a family to care about her so much. I just pray that Doris won't have to spend another occasion alone again and her family will recognize she needs them before it is too late. I am so thankful for the Wonderful staff at Parkview and all the volunteers. They value the elderly and will reap a reward, I am sure. "For whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap." Galatians 6:7

"I Get by with a Little Help from my Friends"

"I get by with a little help from my friends." -John Lennon
This is true. I have some very valuable friendships:
First and foremost, my friend, Jesus. "We have a friend that sticks closer than a brother." (Proverbs 18 :24) "What a friend we have in Jesus, who all our sorrows bear. What a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer." -Hymn
The friends that got me thru school, puberty, boyfriends, graduation, then have been thru life with me. "It takes a long time to grow an old friend." -John Leonard. Thanks Ginger, Pam, Nina, Jody, and Matt.
Roger, who is my best friend. My shoulder to lean on, my fellow dreamer. "There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion, or company than a good marriage." -Martin Luther. Thanks Pooky.
My daughter who I share bond of family and friendship! Thanks Poo-poo-tissue.
Our couple friends who we just have fun with, traveling or hanging out! Thanks Matt and Traci, Ginger and Kelly.
Those friends who lean a listening ear. Those who are honest but supportive! "I can trust my friends. These people force me to examine, encourage me to grow." -Cher. Thanks Traci, Ginger, Nina, Matt, Roger.
Our church friends who have prayed with and for us, who do not judge but counsel us with Godly wisdom. Ecclesiastes 4:10 "If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man that falls and has no one to help him up."
Thanks Ed and Jenny, Rodd and Illene, Kevin and Lori, etc...
My buddy, Erik. He is my sunshine. "People let me tell you about my best friend. He's my one boy, my cuddly toy, my up, my down, my pride and joy." - Theme song from Eddy's father.
My son Kevin. We don't share too much in common right now but I hope to someday be his friend. It's hard to be a friend when you are being a parent. Meanwhile I can tease with Kevin and that makes me smile. There has been a spider infestation in our house. I never know where the next rubber spider will show up!
My mom, she inspires me! I'll forever admire her faith and her love for her family!
Grandma Eleanore, who I want to be like. She lives life to the fullest! And never grows old. Thanks Grandma Eleanore.
My newest little friend, Camdyn. You make me smile!!
My co-workers who tirelessly hear my stories, who know too much about me and I them and who make it bearable to go to work! Thanks Connie and Etta.
My clientele who I've become close to. Thanks Lola, Bonnie and Vickie.
Our dog, Maxine. She just wants to eat, sleep and be walked. She needs me!
Then there are those who I may have not talked to in awhile or who we've grown apart, those who are family, those who were family at a time and I still treasure (Grandma Edna, Kari, Teen, Karen, Connie B.) those I've worked with and had fun (Amber and Michelle), those who correspond via e-mail or at Christmas, those who in some way have impacted my life. To all who have touched my life, Thank you.

Couldn't have said it better, again! Megafreeway or Narrow Way? by Greg Laurie

Tuesday, November 21, 2006Megafreeway or Narrow Way?

There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death.
— Proverbs 14:12
There is a road to heaven. Jesus said, "Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it" (Matthew 7:13).Jesus was saying there is a clear way to walk in life. Certainly He was not advocating the fuzzy thinking of our time that claims that all roads lead to God, that says, "You have your truth, I have my truth, and eventually we will all end up in the same place."Some people seem to think the road to heaven is like a megafreeway where we all have our lanes, and we are all going to get there eventually. Some have a lane of religion. Others have a lane of philosophy. Others have a lane of something else. And the pervading belief about this freeway to heaven is that we can change lanes if we want to: I don't like this philosophy lane. . . . I am going to go over to the religion lane. . . . I am going to go over to this other lane. . . . That is how they envision it.But that is not the way Jesus described it. He said, "Broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it."Some say, "I will find my own way." Maybe they will. But it can be the way of death. The road Jesus offers is a narrow one. If you have not yet chosen to walk on that narrow road, take the next exit from your megafreeway. You can choose to walk with Christ. Choose life today! Greg Laurie Copyright © 2006 by Harvest Ministries. All rights reserved.

Our Astonishing World

"The law of biogenesis states that life always comes from life. Both observational science and Genesis 1 tell us that organisms reproduce after their own kind. This and other natural laws exist because the universe has a Creator who is logical and has imposed order on His universe."
"Everything in the universe, every plant and animal, every rock, every particle of matter of light wave, is bound by laws which it has no choice but to obey."
-Jason Lisle, Phd
quotes taken from Answers Magazine Oct.-Dec. 2006

Crepuscular Rays



A Bipolar Emission Nebula


















Tornado and Rainbow over Kansas

Addictions and Obsessions

I watch Dr. Phil regularly and even though I get extremely frustrated with the dramatics I am interested in human psychology. It is disturbing to see that behind many white picket fences there are so many human concerns. I remember being young and believing I was invincible. My faith was unshakable, my marriage was stable, my morals were intact, etc. Then human imperfection got in the way. I use to say, "I would never..." Never say never. Some of the things I have witnessed on the Dr. Phil show have definitely seemed unconventional. And yes, there are things I don't believe I'd ever do that I see on there. However, I believe that many of us have a "Sin which doth so easily beset us" Hebrews 12:1, obsessions, addictions that we may always battle with. Whether it is alcoholism, drug use, bulimia, cutting, anger management, pornography, an unhealthy relationship, etc., an obsession or addiction can take over your once calm life and turn your days into constant frustration. It can come from out of nowhere or it could stem from a deeper root. If allowed to breed it can destroy your life and others. Sometimes even harmless behaviors can escalate into a consuming obsession. I've watched interviews where normal people become addicted to things and they have become so consumed that their families were suffering too. In fact they made a show to glamorize this, called "Desperate housewives" (I've never personally watched it). Affairs, pill addictions, shop lifting, lying, deception, greed, jealousy, etc are good TV, Why? I don't know. Look at our soaps, our talk shows. Well, it might be good TV but it's not "good real life"! It's miserable. Mark 7: 20-21 "It is the thought-life that defiles you. For from within, out of a person's heart, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, wickedness, deceit, eagerness for lustful pleasure, envy , slander, pride and foolishness." New Living Translation.
I think our family structure may be destroyed if we don't seek help. Where does one find help from obsessions and addictions? First I had to want to be free from my obsession. I couldn't live like that anymore. Personally I believe finding professional guidance to break free is essential. Then having people in your life to find you accountable for your actions, people who will not sugar coat things for you but tell you the truth. To protect against obsessions and addictions I believe in seeking God with all your heart through prayer and Bible study. Naturally avoiding the thing that causes your weakness 100% will keep you guarded. Lastly, associating with people who will make you stronger, people that too have went through something similar and triumphed! Then don't ever think yourself invincible again. For even King David (a man after God's own heart, Acts 13:22 ) was tempted and sinned. (2 Samuel 11) Being through an obsession myself has made me more aware of the infallibility of mankind. I hope I am more forgiving and sympathetic. But of course there are things to me that seem unforgivable. I am mortified and bewildered at the shear evilness of some human beings. "Lord, how long will the wicked, how long will the wicked triumph?" Psalm 94:3 But for those wishing to be released and absolved there is forgiveness, there is prevalence.
**There is a powerful video by "Third Day" called "Cry Out to Jesus" at music.yahoo.com/musicvideos type in "Cry Out to Jesus" to watch/listen. Powerful!!!!

Submission???

Commitment - "Through all things difficult commitment is where our strength lies."
I'm reading a book that I've found very insightful called "Confessions from a honest wife" by Sarah Zacharias Davis. It is a composition of letters from women about varying issues of marriage. There are many quotes from the book that have been perceptive. For example in regards to submission (which is a very scary word for me) it quotes Loius Anspecher:

"Marriage is that relationship between a man and a woman in which the independence is equal, the dependence mutual, and the obligations reciprocal."

As a youth I had Ephesians 5:21-33 highlighted in my Bible and beside it I wrote "God's Way" Now later in my life after some "life experiences" I cringed at that when I turned to it. What I am cringing at is an interpretation of Ephesians 5:22 where the wife is to submit unwittingly to the husband. Since I'm an "absolutist" I can not change the scripture to mean what I want it to. So for years I've rejected the idea of submission. Why the change in my thinking? Well, I could blame it on the shapings of my past. However, that is the part of "Confessions" that troubles me- blaming our pasts or others for our choices! Certainly thru my divorce I felt a naivete. So if this is indeed what caused my adversity to submission I could blame my ex and never trust a man again. But as I stated I don't believe in blaming our problems on our pasts. It is not my parents, peers or ex's fault if I chose to allow my past experience to dictate my future. We truly do the best with what we know at the time. And I've learned that I can submit (give) my heart to a man that loves me "even as Christ loved the church" Ephesians 5:25. This man will not misuse that. He will be the soft shoulder for me to lean on. I have this picture on our bedroom door of two penguins hugging. The female penguin's head is nestled under the males. This is how I feel with Roger. I feel safe, cared for, not dependent on but supported. I'm sure I am dependent on Rog for many things. I'm sure, too that he is dependent on me for many things. It truly is nice for both partners to feel equally important in a relationship. When we feel secure in our position in a relationship we don't feel as if we are giving up anything. I appreciate the strengths my male counter parts have over me. I am not afraid to "value" a man that respects me.

Love The One You're With

Recently I watched "Shadowlands" an HBO movie about the unconventional marriage of C.S. Lewis (authour of Chronicles of Narnia). He stated "God doesn't necessarily want us to be happy. He wants us to love and be loved. We think childish toys bring us all the happiness there is and our nursery is the whole wide world. Something must drive us out of the nursery to the world of others and that something is suffering." Upon the recent anniversary of 911 I would agree that suffering drove people to care about the world of others. I watched a TV reinactment about a man that was unable to escape the building because he became too winded to descend anymore stairs. One man stayed with him and died with him. I wonder if the man that had gave up had truly felt any self-worth. His wife said that she didn't believe that he knew how important he was to so many. How many people don't feel valued. C.S. Lewis said God wants us to love and be loved. I think that God does want us to be happy just not forget what is important, love. "These are three things that will endure- faith, hope, and love- and the greatest of these is love." 1 Corithaians 13:13
Not to give the story line away but C.S. Lewis did learn that we sometimes only truly value something if we are going to lose it. Roger says "You only grow thru trials and that is why God doesn't want you to stay too comfortable." I've learned to love Roger more deeply in the trials we've gone thru together. Some would argue that romantic love is fleeting but I haven't given up yet. If I think about the reasons I feel in love they were purely selfish. It was about how Rog made me feel about myself. Too often life gets in the way and we stop making each other feel as special, valued. So it's an effort to stay in love. It takes lots of communication and letting each other know our needs. I've never had a problem saying what I need. Of course even when I don't say it Roger knows when something is amiss.

Don't Go Ugly

"Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last: but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised." Proverbs 31:30 New Living Translation

"If you are ugly at 16, it's not your fault. If you are ugly at 90, it is." -Unknown

"Reflect self-confidence. If you want your children to feel valuable, you must feel valuable. Be your own best friend. Don't concentrate on physical appearance so much. The world does that for them!"- This was something I wrote for Jess' baby book.

I haven't always been a shining example of self-confidence. I've criticized things about myself to my family. However, something about maturing has made me appreciate what God has given me. Being a hair stylist I've always been aware of fashion and style. However, I've learned that I dare not compare myself with a model, celebrity, etc. I chose only to try and copy clothes, hair and makeup not size, shape, or appearance. After all, how many celebrities don't model self-worth? Many of them have addictive behaviors such as eating disorders, drinking, drugs, etc. If they valued themselves they wouldn't have these addictions. I think the most beautiful women reflect self-confidence and integrity. I've never begrudged a woman to try a little makeup and a new hairstyle. Otherwise I'd not have a job! But certainly those things don't make true beauty. There are people who are outwardly beautiful yet very ugly. I wish I could conteract all the negativity my children will ever feel about themselves. I just hope that they know that God is the healer of damaged self-esteem. Whatever has caused us to doubt our self-worth is not of God. For the Bible says "I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well." Psalms 139:13.

Couldn't Have Said it Better

Wednesday, August 30, 2006No Brownie Points- by Pastor Greg Laurie

For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast.


— Ephesians 2:8-9
Some years ago a poll conducted by a major news magazine found that most Americans were sure they were going to heaven, but most didn't expect to see their friends there. A majority of those polled anticipated that Mother Theresa would make the cut, and a number also cited certain celebrities and politicians whom they thought would qualify.Sadly, this shows the confusion and the flawed reasoning that go into the most important decision we will ever make in life: the decision regarding where we will spend eternity.Though this may come as a surprise to many people, Mother Theresa, as wonderful of a humanitarian as she was, did not have any better odds of making it into heaven than anyone else. Why? Because our entrance into heaven is not on the basis of what we have done for God; it is on the basis of what God has done for us. That is what it comes down to.The lowest of the low, if they repent and ask God to forgive them, in spite of what they have done, will be admitted into heaven. And the best of the best, in spite of all of the good they have done, will not necessarily get in if they have not put their faith in Christ as their Savior. It doesn't matter what we have done, as commendable as it may be. Our entrance into heaven has nothing to do with good deeds or bad deeds. But it has everything to do with what Jesus did on the cross and our recognition that we cannot meet God on our own merit.
Copyright © 2006 by Harvest Ministries. All rights reserved.
Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright ©1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Bible text from the New King James Version is not to be reproduced in copies or otherwise by any means except as permitted in writing by Thomas Nelson, Inc., Attn: Bible Rights and Permissions, P.O. Box 141000, Nashville, TN 37214-1000Have Pastor Greg's devotionals blessed you? Write to let him know! Greg@harvest.org

"Remember now your creator in the days of your youth. before the difficult days come and the years draw near when you say, "I have no pleasure in them." Ecclesiastics 12:2

My prayer for my children is that they will someday see the greater picture. Youth often live life for the moment. They feel indestructable. They feel their whole lifes are ahead of them and they need to have as much fun as possible. I love to see my kids enjoy life in good, healthy ways. I just pray for their protection against the powers and principalities of darkness. I whole heartedly believe there are evil influences trying to rob us of our souls. The Bible says "We wrestle not against flesh and blood but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places." Ephesians 6 :12. "For the theif cometh but for to steal, and to kill and to destroy...." John 10:10. I think these evil influences come in many forms, in some music, in the media, in drugs, in cults and occults such as Wicca, even sometimes churches. There are churches that appear to tell a form of the truth but in reality tell a lie. These churches believe that we make our own truth, or that we pick and chose what we believe of the Bible. This is a form of spiritual depravity that will steal one's soul. I told Kevin recently that there is such a bigger picture out there as to why I don't want him to go to "Ozz Fest" or not. I have my parental reasons to not let him go such as the drinking, the drugs, the mayhem but far greater is the spiritual influence of the music/musicians. No matter how great a musician is, if he promotes anger, violence, immortality his music is "worthless". The big picture is "What do I want Kevin to pattern his life after?" And it is not after a rock musician with bigger problems than one could imagine. I want him to be a man with a belief in not just "a greater power", but in the greater power. The one who sacrificed His life for us to "...have life and have it more abundantly." also John 10:10. I want my children to not find their own ways but to seek God's way. "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him and he will direct thy paths." Proverbs 3:5&6
A friend of mine called today to tell me her son accepted Christ in his life. I am so happy for them. She said it is evident there is a change in his life. She says he just sounds happier. He is 22 and I'm sure he spent some of his life doing his own thing but God had a greater plan for him. I believe that God has a plan for each of my kids. He will not give up on them and neither do I. While Jess lived at home I tried my hardest to guide her. I am trying to do the same with Kevin. We are sometimes at odds. He does make his own choices but I am still trying to guide him. I am not afraid to say uncomfortable things to him if they might make him think of his actions. As adults we get to make our own decisions. I've certainly never wanted someone telling me how to live my life. At times I've even not wanted to listen to God's word and tried to ignore it. I've learn mostly from experience. Of course I don't want any of my kids struggling but sometimes that is how we learn our greatest lessons. It is hard to watch sometimes but I trust that God has a greater purpose. "And what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger", I've heard said. God accepts us and patiently waits for us to need Him.
I am happy that I have Erik, still young and tender hearted. The teenage years will rip your heart out and Erik has help me keep my sanity. Roger is a great support system too. Lately Erik and I have been getting up at 5am when Roger goes to work. We walk 2 miles, then read a devotion, have a prayer, then read a book together. We have lots of good talks on our walks and have gotten really close. I thank God that Erik has the opportunity to know God from a youth and I hope that Roger and I have grown as parents, at least in example.

Temporal Things

"What shall it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses his own soul." Matt. 6:20

I said I was going to write the awesome things about being an adult. First off, I have to say that I believe that this world is temporal. And all things that give enjoyment here are only for a moment. I think that we only find true contentment and happiness in this life thru faith in Jesus Christ. We can attain to gain financially, through career, education or success. These things can all be good, but do not prepare us for eternity. Preparation for eternity is only achieved thru simple faith. Not of works. Not how much you do. But simply by faith..."Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." Hebrews 11:1 I believe not because the Bible has been proven to me...but because I chose to believe. There are people who study the history of the Bible and can give you good reason to believe it theoretically. Then there are those who try to discredit it or question the deity of Christ like those believing works of fiction such as "The Davinci Code" For those looking for scientific evidence to believe the Bible they may find in thru such organizations as answersingenesis.org. I've believed since I was a child. Not that I haven't questioned things but what causes me to overcome these doubts are seeing the results of living things God's way as opposed to my way. I find it much easier to believe that God created this incredible world with all it's complexities rather than to believe it all evolved from an atom. I am amazed by the indescribable solar system. See the astronomy pictures of the day at antwrp.gsfc.nasa.gov/apod/astropix.html. Or the amazing Earth. See the earth science picture of the day at epod.usra.edu/.
I have found that material things only bring temporary happiness. I get enjoyment from a new car, new clothes, new house decor, etc. but they are soon the old car, the old clothes, the old decor. When I get bored with the mundane I try to make excitement out of the mundane. Like many people I'm sure, I have days where I feel like I'm sick too of working, worrying, living. So after I'm done with my pity party I realize life goes on and I am truly blessed. Of course it could be worse, right? So I look for ways to pull myself out of the quagmire of life and live. It truly is a wonderful life. So here are things about this temporal world that bring me pleasure.
Sunrises and sunsets.
Gentle rains.
walks at dawn with Erik and Max.
a ride on the 4-wheeler at dusk with Roger.
music- Worship music, heals and uplifts my spirit. Classical, (listen to the young family of pianists "The 5 Browns"), this inspires me. Salsa, makes me want to dance. Christian, this gives me hope.
Books- The Bible, strengthens my faith. Self-help, gives me direction ( read "A Long Way Off" by Kitti Murray if you've experienced hurt over a child). Fiction, helps me escape reality. Devotionals, helps me build on my faith (read "Irrepressible Hope" by 7 incredible faith-inspired authors)
Foods- Cajun anything! Chicago style hotdogs, cobb salad with blue cheese dressing, Red Lobster's biscuits, Chili's egg rolls, hot apple pie with ice cream, etc, etc.
Sitting by a fire.
Holding a baby.
Driving wherever I want...(when I was a child I often could not wait to drive to Lake Michigan and get out and dip my feet in, instead of sitting in the car while my parents drove by the lake!)
Ride on the back of a motorcycle with the wind on my face-this I did with my brother Paul who I miss and remember often.
Shopping at thrift stores- it is such a bargain that you feel good about the money you are not spending at Neiman Marcus. (Never shopped there by the way. Don't care either.)
Vacations- whether they are weekend trips or road/plane trips I enjoy every one of them. I may not have traveled worldwide yet but I get out of "Mayberry" now and then.
Laughing-with my family and friends or at myself. And of course at "I Love Lucy"
Meeting ordinary and extraordinary people. I've never met a president, an arch bishop or a celebrity but I've met very many interesting people. And old people have such good stories too!
So it may seem like childhood was the best days of my life and somedays I wish I could be a child again but with age comes experiences and appreciation. I have yet to experience- being a grandma, dancing at a child's wedding, retirement, menopause :)
True, life has it share of disappointments too. A song we sang in church today says, "Blessed be the name of the Lord... He gives and takes away... My heart will chose to say, blessed be the name of the Lord." God has given me much and taken away little. I hope that I will always be able to bless God thru the good and bad. I admire people such as Barbara Johnson who experienced a lot of heartache, deaths of 2 sons, an estranged son, her own sickness, etc and still keeps her faith. To trust the Lord that he has a greater purpose is the greatest demonstration of faith.

Faith Under Fire

The other day a sister in my church was verbally discredited in front me by a colleague, I'll call Jan. (This is not the first time I've heard disparaging things about my christian family). I was angered but I said nothing. I later thought of plenty of things I could of said. None which would probably profited me any. However, I've struggled with liking, or being forgiving of Jan. Seems whenever someone disagrees with a Christian's belief they are adament to speak up against them. And Christians are called judgemental? True some are judgemental and they are not very "Christian". I believe a true christian doesn't look for other's faults but prays for them. So I am struggling to pray for her. "Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, pray for them that despitefully use and persecute you (or those you love)* my insert." Matt. 5:44
My christian friend who was discredited, encourages her kids not to date while in high school. I do not whole heartedly agree but do see her reasons and admire her for her stand. Kids are exposed to so much at too young an age and so many parents are passive. It is easier for a parent to give in to a child then to stand their ground. I know this all too well. I too battle with my teenage son over curfew, etc. I hate to distrust him or check up on him. I hate to tell him "no, you can't do something your friends are doing". I often am ignored for days after saying "no". I am not winning a popularity contest! I've heard parents say that kids will just sneak around if they can't do the things they want. Well, should I buy my kids booze, cigarettes or drugs since they are going to sneak and get it anyhow? Should I be Laissez-faire about their grades saying they will get what they get? What is so wrong with telling your kids what kind of behavior is or is not acceptable or risky? I try my hardest not to make it easy for my kids to be exposed to what I feel is harmful behavior. I do believe they will try to get away with things and they will sneak around. But if I'm not making it easy for them, they will have less chances. Less chances to drink, have sex, etc mean less chances of consequences. I am not for providing beer for kids in the hopes they will stay at home and drink 'cause they may become dependant on alcohol. I am not for giving my kids a condom in hopes that they won't have unprotected sex 'cause they may still get hurt emotionally if they aren't in a committed relationship. I am for talking openly to my kids about sex, drinking, drugs, etc. and consequences. They still ultimately make the decision but I've done my best to discourage a problematic behavior. Alcohol, sex, etc. can be like playing with fire. And most parents don't want their kids playing with fire! Most parents won't even say "play with fire but be responsible!"
I don't need to defend my christian friend or others of my faith because Jesus said, "Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you." Matthews 5: 11-12
I do want to pray for Jan. I know she is having a tough time in her life. I know she doesn't understand others different than herself. It is easy to be defensive when we don't feel good about ourselves!

Forgiveness

Experiences in life often shape our personalities. I have learned not to judge people too harshly because they are what they are because of life circumstances. However I believe it is also possible and sometimes necessary to change what shapes us. Especially when it affects those around us. Too often we use the excuse that is just the way I am. Or I was born that way.
Yesterday I was somewhat angered to hear of an acquaintance of mine putting down women because he's been through a divorce. It was affecting someone close to me that I'd rather not have a poor opinion of women. After all I am a woman! I too was scarred by a divorce. I too could of thought all men were scum. So... Divorce scars...Not just the divorcees but the children. Jess asked about the statistics of divorce. Yah, they suck, 50-50. I believe from experience that our children need us to do all that we can to make our marriage work. I wish Jess and Kev had never experienced divorce!! I hope they won't be afraid of marriage but will work with a fever to protect their marriages when they have one. Especially giving their children the gift of both parents united, not divided! I still believe in happy endings. I thank God and give Him total credit for happy ever afters. I think that marriages need that extra help that God gives us. After all without God where is the forgiveness? I think people fail to forgive when they don't feel they have ever really done anything to be forgiven for. How often we think, I would never do that! A friend gives me credit for not holding grudges. Truth is I do hold hard feelings. I have a hard time when someone does me wrong and doesn't recognize it or doesn't ask for forgiveness. But life has taught me that I can screw up and screw up bad. I need others' forgiveness so I need to forgive others. "For if you forgive men their trespasses, then your Father will forgive you your trespasses. But if you forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." Matthew 6:14 &15 KJV
"And why to you look at the speck in your brother's eye and do not consider the plank in your own eye." Matthew 7:3 NKJV If we recognize our own idiosyncracies maybe it'll be easier to understand others. How about the person that cut us deeply? Haven't we all been there? A friend of mine was recently hurt by her family members. Been there, done that? I know a few, who have. I've also seen people carry it to the grave. How much of it is misunderstanding? I want to be forgiven. I will try to forgive. That doesn't mean that some people just push our buttons with their arrogance....Sometimes these people just make life unpleasant and if they aren't gonna change I don't want to spend much time with them. It's not my job to correct them, but forgive them. After all I do have a lot to work on, myself.