Face Time

 

I wasted my Sunday yesterday.  I got on the computer about 3pm and wasn't off til 10:30 pm.  Then as I cleaned kitchen and made my husbands lunch, I got very sad.  My husband and son were now asleep.  I didn't do anything family oriented or spend "face time" with them since we returned from church. I am happy we went to church!  But I began to cry, not just a little but alot (i'm on new meds for nerve pain, get to that later)  I was sobbing when I went to bed and woke my husband.  He was so tired, he gets up at 4 am.  His reply was we will reassess this in the morning and see how I feel and he mentioned again that he thinks my crying is because of  my medicines. 
Sometimes he complains when I'm texting or on computer, yesterday I believe he was relieved.  Relieved because the last 3 weeks I can't stop talking. I also talk to my cats, my plants, a silk moth cocoon that I saved in a jar for my grandson.  I also am so energetic, almost ephoric, I am hypersensitve to sounds around me, more aware of beauty of life (I'm on a high).  I like this high, really, most of the time!  But come supper time or last night at bed time, I crash.  The energy, the lack of focus, it gets to me.  I get overwhelmed.  Then I cry or more like sob.  I feel like a 3 year old.  My emotions are at their peak and can turn on and off instantly! 
Back to wasting my time.  I am gonna try to be more disciplined on time I spend on electronics!  And the summer is OH SO SHORT.  I don't want to waste it.  My family is most important to me and even though they probably need a break from me, I want to be more present with them.  And hopefully get my meds changed (or off them completely) so I'm more normal again.  I was a little crazy, unfocused, hyper without them.   Just praying the depression does not come back!   I am getting Physical Therapy to help with pain management so I may not need meds, I'm hoping!