Love The One You're With

Recently I watched "Shadowlands" an HBO movie about the unconventional marriage of C.S. Lewis (authour of Chronicles of Narnia). He stated "God doesn't necessarily want us to be happy. He wants us to love and be loved. We think childish toys bring us all the happiness there is and our nursery is the whole wide world. Something must drive us out of the nursery to the world of others and that something is suffering." Upon the recent anniversary of 911 I would agree that suffering drove people to care about the world of others. I watched a TV reinactment about a man that was unable to escape the building because he became too winded to descend anymore stairs. One man stayed with him and died with him. I wonder if the man that had gave up had truly felt any self-worth. His wife said that she didn't believe that he knew how important he was to so many. How many people don't feel valued. C.S. Lewis said God wants us to love and be loved. I think that God does want us to be happy just not forget what is important, love. "These are three things that will endure- faith, hope, and love- and the greatest of these is love." 1 Corithaians 13:13
Not to give the story line away but C.S. Lewis did learn that we sometimes only truly value something if we are going to lose it. Roger says "You only grow thru trials and that is why God doesn't want you to stay too comfortable." I've learned to love Roger more deeply in the trials we've gone thru together. Some would argue that romantic love is fleeting but I haven't given up yet. If I think about the reasons I feel in love they were purely selfish. It was about how Rog made me feel about myself. Too often life gets in the way and we stop making each other feel as special, valued. So it's an effort to stay in love. It takes lots of communication and letting each other know our needs. I've never had a problem saying what I need. Of course even when I don't say it Roger knows when something is amiss.

Don't Go Ugly

"Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last: but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised." Proverbs 31:30 New Living Translation

"If you are ugly at 16, it's not your fault. If you are ugly at 90, it is." -Unknown

"Reflect self-confidence. If you want your children to feel valuable, you must feel valuable. Be your own best friend. Don't concentrate on physical appearance so much. The world does that for them!"- This was something I wrote for Jess' baby book.

I haven't always been a shining example of self-confidence. I've criticized things about myself to my family. However, something about maturing has made me appreciate what God has given me. Being a hair stylist I've always been aware of fashion and style. However, I've learned that I dare not compare myself with a model, celebrity, etc. I chose only to try and copy clothes, hair and makeup not size, shape, or appearance. After all, how many celebrities don't model self-worth? Many of them have addictive behaviors such as eating disorders, drinking, drugs, etc. If they valued themselves they wouldn't have these addictions. I think the most beautiful women reflect self-confidence and integrity. I've never begrudged a woman to try a little makeup and a new hairstyle. Otherwise I'd not have a job! But certainly those things don't make true beauty. There are people who are outwardly beautiful yet very ugly. I wish I could conteract all the negativity my children will ever feel about themselves. I just hope that they know that God is the healer of damaged self-esteem. Whatever has caused us to doubt our self-worth is not of God. For the Bible says "I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well." Psalms 139:13.