Just last week, Erik and I went to a Christmas Dinner at the nursing home where mom lives. It was very nice. There was a meal including many pies. The Monon middle school "Ambassadors" performed a spectacular musical, with bright costumes, singing, dancing and clogging. The church volunteers provided along with the meal, a present for each resident. Mom, Erik and I enjoyed ourselves, even though there were awkward moments like when mom asked the resident across from us, if his wife was his mother, TWICE! But it was good to see mom smile and appreciate the attention. However, sitting with us was Doris, mom's roommate. She didn't have a family member there and was rather depressed. Doris who is usually happy and excited to be involved, refused to eat and went back to her room. This is one of many times I've seen her disappointed that her family wasn't there. I'm not sure why they didn't come? At Thanksgiving she was sitting at a table eating Thanksgiving dinner alone because her tablemates had all gone home with their families. All I know is it is breaking my heart. When I can't attend a function, I try to find another family member to go and Debbie has went too. I wish other family members could have this opportunity sometimes too. Mom doesn't remember what day it is but I don't want to leave her sitting alone on special occasions. Those occasions don't come often. I have been selfish in the past, because it has been hard on me to go get her. It was sometimes an inconvenience, she wanted to rush back home, or she got tired and confused. But after seeing Doris so lonely for her family I don't want to let mom sit up there alone. I know she'll have her bad days...We all do. But a holiday shouldn't be one of them. It is an opportunity for us to make memories with her. We won't have many of those left, whether she lives 1 or 20 years longer. I know I won't want to spend my birthday, Christmas, etc. without my family ever. I pray I don't have to. I have a friend that says that he will never put his parents in a nursing home. I understand his feelings. But I also know that for my mom it was a good thing. I spent many nights praying about it and she is happy there for the most part, of which I am happy and relieved. I can have my own life and not worry that she is taken care of. Mom is lucky to have a family to care about her so much. I just pray that Doris won't have to spend another occasion alone again and her family will recognize she needs them before it is too late. I am so thankful for the Wonderful staff at Parkview and all the volunteers. They value the elderly and will reap a reward, I am sure. "For whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap." Galatians 6:7
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