Faith Under Fire

The other day a sister in my church was verbally discredited in front me by a colleague, I'll call Jan. (This is not the first time I've heard disparaging things about my christian family). I was angered but I said nothing. I later thought of plenty of things I could of said. None which would probably profited me any. However, I've struggled with liking, or being forgiving of Jan. Seems whenever someone disagrees with a Christian's belief they are adament to speak up against them. And Christians are called judgemental? True some are judgemental and they are not very "Christian". I believe a true christian doesn't look for other's faults but prays for them. So I am struggling to pray for her. "Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, pray for them that despitefully use and persecute you (or those you love)* my insert." Matt. 5:44
My christian friend who was discredited, encourages her kids not to date while in high school. I do not whole heartedly agree but do see her reasons and admire her for her stand. Kids are exposed to so much at too young an age and so many parents are passive. It is easier for a parent to give in to a child then to stand their ground. I know this all too well. I too battle with my teenage son over curfew, etc. I hate to distrust him or check up on him. I hate to tell him "no, you can't do something your friends are doing". I often am ignored for days after saying "no". I am not winning a popularity contest! I've heard parents say that kids will just sneak around if they can't do the things they want. Well, should I buy my kids booze, cigarettes or drugs since they are going to sneak and get it anyhow? Should I be Laissez-faire about their grades saying they will get what they get? What is so wrong with telling your kids what kind of behavior is or is not acceptable or risky? I try my hardest not to make it easy for my kids to be exposed to what I feel is harmful behavior. I do believe they will try to get away with things and they will sneak around. But if I'm not making it easy for them, they will have less chances. Less chances to drink, have sex, etc mean less chances of consequences. I am not for providing beer for kids in the hopes they will stay at home and drink 'cause they may become dependant on alcohol. I am not for giving my kids a condom in hopes that they won't have unprotected sex 'cause they may still get hurt emotionally if they aren't in a committed relationship. I am for talking openly to my kids about sex, drinking, drugs, etc. and consequences. They still ultimately make the decision but I've done my best to discourage a problematic behavior. Alcohol, sex, etc. can be like playing with fire. And most parents don't want their kids playing with fire! Most parents won't even say "play with fire but be responsible!"
I don't need to defend my christian friend or others of my faith because Jesus said, "Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you." Matthews 5: 11-12
I do want to pray for Jan. I know she is having a tough time in her life. I know she doesn't understand others different than herself. It is easy to be defensive when we don't feel good about ourselves!